Have you lost someone important to you? When I was a young child, I found a dead garter snake under my swing outside. I remember feeling confused and sad. Then my grandpa died suddenly when I was five years old, and I remember that sadness being even more intense and overwhelming. The grown-ups were upset, and I understood how big the loss felt. Part of me remembers how my kindergarten teacher gave me a hug and did not shame me for my tears.
Too often our culture teaches us to fear death and to avoid the grief that comes when we lose a loved one. Perhaps you can’t talk to all your friends in the same way, hearing them say that too much time has passed, and you should “be over it” and “moving on” somehow. The truth is that grief has its own timeline, and it comes with discomforts that can include surprising tears in unexpected moments, difficulty sleeping, physical pains like headaches, and often overwhelming loneliness as you realize that the world is so different for you now that your loved one is gone.
If you come to me, I will listen. I will hold a safe space for your remembering, your tears, even for your fears, and whatever seems to be the main concern at this point in your grieving process. You may have already experienced a loss, or you might be facing what we call “anticipatory grief” for a pending loss. If so, please come and find support. You do not need to be alone in processing your grief and loss and finding your way through again. Using IFS we can get to know the parts in you who are impacted the most, especially if they are arguing inside that you should be able to handle this on your own rather than get help while the grief still feels so painful! If part of you is feeling absolutely overwhelmed with the grief or the loneliness, I can help you to meet these feelings and help them not to overtake you as you help them. It can get better.